Meg's Boyfriend!
by Kyuubi16
Summary: Adopted from Malcolm Fox. Meg Griffin meets a 7-11 Clerk by the name of Zack Murdock and her life changes forever. Between crazy holidays, insane relatives, time travel, and the usual Quahog madness the two are going to find their hands full. More descriptions and stuff featured then the original. Unrated version will be posted on YourFanfiction.
1. When Meg met Zack!

Meg's Boyfriend  
0  
Meg x Zack  
0  
Author's Note  
0

I was given permission by Malcolm Fox to adopt this story.  
0  
Story Start  
0

Like they did every other week the Griffin Family was going on another one of their outings. Like always, Peter couldn't be content on controlling himself and decided to play a childish game. "Hey, I've got a game we can play," said Peter, "Whenever we see a buggie on the road, we hit Meg!"

"What?" Meg exclaimed in disbelief. It was always like this, "Don't I get a say in this?"

"No," Peter quickly cut her off.

"Punch buggy green," Chris quickly followed up after seeing a green buggie and hitting Meg.

"OW!" she exclaimed as she clutched her arm.

"Punch buggy blue!" Stewie shouted and he hit Meg in the leg.

''Cut it out you guys!''

"Punch buggy yellow!" Peter shouted as he punched Meg in the head without a lack of restraint.

"OOOOOOOWWWW! STOP IT!" she cried out, dropping down to one knee and clutching her head.

"HAHAHA! Listen to her whine!" said Peter as he was amused with his sick game.

"Peter, this isn't funny!" Lois\ snapped at him.

"Sure it is!" said Peter, "Just like the time I pushed Meg in front of a speeding bus."

_Meg and Peter are standing on the sidewalk. "Hey Meg, you wanna visit Mexico?" Peter asked her._

_"Actually no. But I've always wanted to go to-" said Meg before she was cut off by Peter pushing her in front of a speeding bus going to Mexico._

_"And while you're there, get me a sombrero," shouts Peter, "And don't drink the water! No scratch that. Drink all the water you want!"_

"You told me Meg was at a friend's house," Lois replied. Apparently more horrified that her husband lied to her then almost killing their daughter.

"Well you should have known that was a lie when I said 'Meg' and 'friend' in the same sentence without saying 'she doesn't have any'," said Peter.

Meg saw a red buggie and decides that now was her chance.

"Punch buggy red," she says as she hits Chris, "That's one point for me!"

"Ow! Dad make her stop!" Chris whined.

"Oh that's it!" says Peter angrily, "You have gone too far Meg!"

"But I only hit him once!" Meg argued in disbelief.

"Out of the car!" Peter. shouted.

"But-" said Meg before she was interrupted by Peter making a hole through the win shield with his fist.

"NOW!" shouts Peter.

Meg instantly obeyed and got out of the car. Peter then drove off, leaving Meg alone in an unfamiliar and unsafe part of Quahog. Meg spent the next few hours, walking around and asking for directions. She found herself having to dodge alcoholic bums and shifty characters. '_Damn family. They never seem to care about me. Sometimes I wished they knew what it would fill like to be a punching bag to a bunch of demented ass-holes.'' _she thought and shivered. Bringing her hands up to her arms she rubbed them, it was rather cold out and by the greying skies it looked like it would rain any time now. Luckily she managed to come across a 7-11 that looked in pretty good condition.

"Excuse me," said Meg as she walked to the counter, "I'm lost and I need a ride home. Do you have a phone I can use."

"Are you a paying customer?" asks the manager asked, entering the room.

"I don't have any money," Meg admitted, hoping, pleading that this man would be a kind soul and help her out.

"Hell no you can't use it!" he replied in typical Quohagian attitude as he went back to the back room.

"Wait!" said a clerk, stopping Meg from leaving the store. "You can use my cell phone."

"Thank you," said Meg.

"Name's Zack Murdock, by the way." the young man introduced him. The young man looked about a year or two older than Meg. He had long blond hair with a mustacheless goatee, an earring and a green beanie. Under the Green 7-11 Vest he wore a Black T-Shirt and Jeans. He wasn't muscular nor was he fat, he was an average built guy that was a little taller then average.

''I'm Meg,'' she introduced herself as she dialed the number and the reciever picks up.

_"Hello?"_ Peter answered on the other end of the line.

"I need a ride home. I'm at a 7 eleven in uncharted Quahog," said Meg.

"Who is this," said Peter.

"Meg." Said Meg and Peter then hung up, "Oh, COME ON!"

"What happened?" Zack asked her.

"That fat bastard father of mine hung up on me!"

"He WHAT?" the boy nearly exploded.

"I should call Quagmire," said Meg, "Maybe he can help." Meg added with a resigned sigh.

"Quagmire? As in Glen 'The pervert/rapist/sex offender/wierdo' Quagmire?" asks Zack asked her as his stomach tightened and his face scrunched up into something mirroring disgust.

"Don't worry. We live in the same street," Meg answered him.

''You do?'' the worker asked, his disbelief furthered emphasized as his voice rose.

"Yup."

"Well, either way, I can't let you call him," said Zack as he took his phone back, "I still remember when he invited my sister over to make some 'ol fashioned home cookin'."

"What happened?" Meg asked.

"When I got there, they were making burgers," said Zack, "And before that, they were having sex! Dammit, I wish she would've let me know! Anywho, how about I take you home in my car instead?" he offered.

"Sure, thanks," said Meg.

"Is that moneyless bitch still here?" The manager shouted from the back.

"SHUT UP YOU PORKER!" shouted Zack, "YOU PROBABLY WOULDN'T SAY THAT IF SHE WAS SOME BLONDE BUSTY STRIPPER! Idiot..." the boy finished with a hiss.

"Why are you yelling at your boss?" asked Meg.

"He's also my dad, and we have issues," Zack explained.

"But won't he fire you?" Meg pointed out.

"Nah!" said Zack, "He NEEDS me! Now, let's go. Dad, I'm taking her home!" He shouted to the backroom.

"Eww! You takin' that ugly porker home?" shouted the manager from the back room.

"DAD, SHUT UP! SHE'S NOT FAT AND UGLY LIKE YOU!" Zack shouted back as seconds later a mug flies out of the room and shatters on the wall right next to Zack, "Oh Sh#t! Let's get outta here!"

000

Chapter End

000

For the record, not everything is going to stay the same. I'm going to have some of the characters progress and slowly insert more sensible characters. For those of you who are Meg Fans, I am going to incorporate the Seashell Party episode and it'll play an important part in Meg's Overall Character development. Like I said, I'm not updating any other stories until August 28, except this one.

I am posting everything I have now on YourFanfiction. Once everything is posted I will go back and reread an entire story, fix the problems, and then write a new chapter for that story. I'm going to that for my entire catalog of stories while working on new stories.

So, here's a treat. Every chapter I'm going to feature a sneak preview of an update for one of my stories. The First Lucky winner is none other then A Fox Among Cats.

000

A Fox Among Cats

000

_''Naruto!''_ She scream, trying to fight through the smoke to save her long time friend. She ignored the ashy sensation of the smoke. Her body then felt like it was literally ablaze as nothingness consumed her.

Cheetara shot up, her body gleaming with sweat and her breaths labored. Her fists tightened, the nails piercing the skin and a sense of hopeless washing over her. The Cheetah stood up, shaking her head, clearing the sensation of lingering sleep. She looked down at the necklace she made, her memento to him. The flowers having long since dried out and were now husks. The flowers were said to bless the wearer with safety and luck. It was the only thing to miraculous survive that horrible incident. Cheetara did the only thing she usually did when she needed to clear her head. She ran. She ran until she couldn't run anymore, coming to a stop an unknown distance from Camp, letting the tears that were streaming down her face to impact the ground.

She was crying. She hadn't cried since the day she lost her people. She couldn't believe Naruto was dead. One of her oldest friends; the spirited boy who was always complaining about her getting them into trouble. The Kitsune who was eager to know who he was and where he came from. He was gone, and not even a body was left behind to grieve. And that's when she felt it. Her Grief turning into Anger, fueling the already fanned hatred she had for Mumm-ra and his lackeys. She was going to make them pay. One way or another they would pay from taking Naruto away from them. Away from his adopted family. Away from Her.


	2. Time to Meet the Griffins!

Meg's Boyfriend  
0  
Meg x Zack  
0  
Story Start  
0

It was a rather short drive, taking only fifteen minutes. Neither said much of course, unable to come up with anything that would be considered a decent topic of conversation.  
Both of them got out of the cars.

"Thanks for the ride home Zack," Meg thanked him with a small smile. She couldn't remember the last time someone was nice to her. It was refreshing because he didn't seem to be mentally handicap, a sex fiend, an idiot, or anything resembling the general Quahog collective. ''Do you want to come inside? I wouldn't feel right not offering something after you've helped me like this.

A look of unease formed on Zack's face. ''Don't take this the wrong way Meg, but we just met and I wouldn't feel comfortable...'' he trailed off.

''Please Zack, you're one of the few decent people I've met in awhile and I want us to be friends.''

''You do?'' he responded, surprised and a bit flattered. After struggling with indecision for a moment and seeing the pleading look in her eyes he resigned with a soft exhale and a smile forming on his face. So far she didn't seem to be like most other Quahogians. Hell, in fact she seemed normal. ''Alright, I suppose it wouldn't hurt.'' he added as he walked her to the door. The curtains setting in the window indicating that someone was looking through. The door swung open and Lois came and hugged Meg.

"Oh, thank God you're alright!" Lois exclaimed, then taking notice of Zack, "Who is he?"

"His name is Zack...'' Meg began.

"I gave your daughter a ride," he quickly added, hoping to endear himself, but unfortunately did not word the statement appropriately. As a result he was promptly punched in the eye sending him crashing to the ground.

"MOM! Zack didn't 'ride' me!" said Meg, "He gave me a ride home!"

"Oh my... I'm so sorry Zack!" Lois profusely apologized, embarrassed by her outburst.

"Please call a doctor..." said Zack in pain before he blacked out. Hours later with a groan he came too. Out of his good eye he saw a very worried Meg.

"Zack, you're awake," she said, relieved.

''How long have I been out?'' he asked, sitting up.

"You've been unconscious for 5 hours."

"Ohhh... I haven't felt this bad since I ate that expired twinkie," said Zack, "It's actually a pretty funny story. You see..."

He was interrupted when Peter walked into the room and sat on Zack(mostly his face) who was lying down on the couch. Zack began kicking and screaming.

"Ahh... Now to watch some TV," said Peter as he grabbed the remote.

"Dad get up!" Meg screamed at him.

"Uhhh, don't think so," said Peter as he adjusted his butt on Zack and ignored his muffled screams.

"Peter, you're gonna suffocate him!" Lois shouted.

"Hold on a sec, Lois," said Peter as he then farted. Zack yelled even louder, "Now who are you-" said Peter before he felt a sharp pain in his rear and jumped off the couch, "AHHH! SOMETHING BIT ME! SOMETHING BIT MEEEE!"

"Oh, Yuck! Ass!" said Zack cried out, brushing his tongue with his arms before he gasped for air.

"Who the hell are you?" Peter angrily demanded.

"Peter, this is Zack, he brought Meg home." Lois explained.

"You bring back Meg AND bite me in the ass?" said Peter, "I hate him already!"

"Yeah! Well I hate YOU!" said Zack, "You leave your daughter stranded in the part of town where rapists and murderers dwell and you almost killed me by sitting on me!"

"Stop fighting, you two!" Meg pleaded.

"Shut up, Meg!" said Peter.

"Don't tell her to shut up!" Zack angrily shouted.

"Who are you to tell me how to raise my kids!" Peter snapped.

"Freedom of speech, pal!" said Zack, "And I don't like how you talk to Meg."

_''SHUT THE FUCK UP! HAVE SOME CONSIDERATION FOR OTHER PEOPLE! HARTMAN MIGHT PUT UP WITH THAT SHIT, BUT I WON'T!'' _An angry voice shouted from outside.

Zack instantly paled. _''Jamal?'' _he thought to himself, horrified. He knew full and well of his friend's older brother was a bit of a character and Zack made great pains to make sure he never ended up at this hospital because of it.

"Guys, stop!" Lois interrupted, "Now Zack, I know you and Peter seem to be getting on the wrong foot, but how would you like to stay over for dinner, anyway?"

"Why I'd love to, LOIS." said Zack in hopes of annoying Peter, "Thank you."

"Now Peter, why don't you just go over to the basement and calm down, ok?" Lois suggested.

"Stupid new guy..." muttered Peter as he walked away, "Just because he looks so handsome and crap..."

"I'm so sorry," said Meg apologized as Lois left to go keep an eye on her husband.

"It's not your fault," Zack responded, "You were right, he IS a dick towards you." he added with a grimace. He didn't think there could be people that selfish and oblivious besides That man. He sighed, it was unbelievable the type of people that managed to live as long as they did.

"Are you feeling any better?" Meg asked him.

"I was until your dad sat on my head," said Zack, "I think my concussion is getting worse." _Fat bastard's lucky I don't press charges._

"What was all that noise earlier," Chris asked as he entered the room.

"Dad was angry again," said Meg, "Oh, Zack this is my brother Chris."

"YOU!" shouted Zack with fury as he pointed to Chris. All matters of rest and recovery left Zack's mind as he leaped from the bed.

"Oh crap!" said Chris as he tried to run away, but was grabbed by Zack.

"What's going on?" asked Meg, "You know each other?"

"This fat piece of shit cost me my last job!" Zack angrily snarled as he put Chris in a headlock.

_2 years ago at Burger King, Zack is behind the counter taking Chris's order._"What'll you have," Zack asked.

_"I'll have a whopper, with large fries, and a drink." said Chris._

_"Okay, that'll be $4.99," said Zack._

_"Here you go," said Chris as he handed him money._

_"Kid this is play money... from Monopoly," Zack deadpanned as he dipped his head down and massaged his forehead. He was in no mood to deal with any stupidity today, "The only things this will buy you are red hotels, green houses, and a get out of jail free card."_

_"So you're saying my money isn't good enough?" said Chris, "ARE YOU DISCRIMINATING AGAINST ME?" he ranted._

_"Kid, you handed me fake money! I could have you thrown in jail!" Zack replied, trying to stay calm._

_"It's because I'm fat, isn't it?" asked Chris, "You don't want my money because you think I'll eat the restaurant out of profit and put you out of a job isn't it? I'LL SUE!"_

_"Wait! Don't sue us, kid," the manager replied, quickly running out from the back. "Tell you what, this meal and every other meal you get from us as long as you live is free."_

_"Gee thanks," said Chris as he took his order._

_"Zack, YOU'RE FIRED!" His boss shouted at him._

_"WHAT? But he-" protested Zack before he was grabbed and thrown into a dumpster in the back of a Burger King. Typical of the people of Quahog to go overboard with shit like that., "I'LL GET THAT KID FOR THIS!"_

"I hate you!" Zack shouted as he started to furiously punch Chris in the face, "My girlfriend dumped my because of that shit," he punched him again, "I can't even set foot inside of that restaurant again," punched him again, "And you're ugly!" punched him again.

"Zack, enough!" Meg pleaded, dragging him off her brother, "Hitting Chris won't get your job back."

"I know, but I like hitting things," he countered with a bit of a childish pout.

"My face hurts," said Chris whimpered from the ground as Meg helped him up. Just as that happened Peter re-enetered the room.

"Oh my god!" shouted Peter, "What the hell did you do to Chris!" he accused her.

''Me? I didn't do anything!'' Meg angrily returned. She was getting sick and tired of everything be pinned on her.

"You lie!" said Peter, "This is why I always hate you."

Meg recoiled slightly, albeit not all that surprised she was still hurt. She always suspected, but it was different hearing the words itself.

''Hey, lay off you piece of shit!'' Zack cut in, coming to Meg's aid. ''I'm the one who beat up that fatass. He cost me my job at Burger King."

"Covering up for Meg, huh?" said Peter, "Nobody's supposed to cover up for her."

"No, c'mere," said Zack, "I'll show you."

"Okay then" said Peter as he walked up to Zack who grabbed him by the collar. Unfortunately for Peter his fight or flight instinct which only often kicked in when fighting Ernie, the Fighting Chicken did not kick in.

"I hate you!" shouted Zack as he punched Peter, "My girlfriend dumped my because of that shit," he punched him again, "I can't even set foot inside of that restaurant," punched him again, "And you're ugly!" punched him again before pushing him away. "See."

"Okay, your story checks out," Peter said as he adjusted his glasses and got off the ground. "I'm starved, let's get dinner."

''I...ttch..butt...duugh...what?'' Zack stammered and fumbled his words as he turned to Meg in disbelief.

''If you've seen what he lives through then wouldn't be surprised. I'll explain on the way.'' she said as she led him out of the room. The room was soon cleared with the exception of Chris who left sprawled on the stairs badly injured."Oooooohhh... Help... me..." he groaned in pain.

000  
Charmed Kitsune Sample.  
000

The three Halliwell sisters were sitting around the Solarium the next morning. Prue was reading the newspaper as usual, Piper was drinking coffee, and Phoebe stood up to answer the phone as it's ring broke up their conversation.

"Hello?" Phoebe answered. "Oh, hello, Josh… how are you?" She greeted with a pointed glance behind her at Piper.

Piper's eyes had widened and she carefully set her coffee down. "I will call him back." She lied.

"Oh, she's right here, hold on a sec." Phoebe replied to Josh. She smiled triumphantly as Piper had no choice but to get up and talk to him now. "Oops." She allowed, not in the least bit sorry.

Piper just glared at her as she snatched the phone from Phoebe. "Hello… No, it's alright. I'm always up this early… What's that? My horoscope said that…? Really…? Oh, well that's a shame 'cause I have to work on Friday night… Yep, Saturday too…" Piper fabricated.

Phoebe rolled her eyes and slowly stood up. "Okay, I have to go change the cat litter." She decided suddenly.

"What?" Phoebe asked, feigning ignorance after seeing Prue's Disapproving look. She sighed before elaborating. "Its only one little harmless pretend date. Piper lets him off easy and Quake still gets its benefactor.''

"The problem is, it's none of our business." Prue answered. ''Also there's no telling what kind of man he is or that he is even a man. He could be a Warlock.'' she noted as Phoebe folded her arms under her bust and sigh

''This again?''

''Yes, this again.'' Prue cut in. ''We can't be as careless as we was in the past. There's no telling who could be after us or what they are we. We need to be careful. And if Naruto catches wind of this, well, you remember Billy right?''

Phoebe shook her head. ''Poor Billy.''

"I, I've got to go now, so thanks for calling though… Yeah, I gotta go to work… I'll be there all day… all night. Yep, gotta go, bye." Piper quickly hung up the phone and breathed a sigh of relief. She stalked back to her seat glaring daggers at Phoebe all the while.

Phoebe sat her own cup of coffee down. "Okay, you know what? It was just a little joke. You really need to lighten up. I mean what's the worst that can happen?'' she suggested.

''Indeed,'' Naruto's voice came from the kitchen causing them all to look up. ''What can happen?'' he finished, appearing next to Phoebe in an instant scaring the hell out of her.

''Don't do that!'' she chastised him as she clutched her chest. Her heartbeat almost drowning out the words.

''Naruto!'' Piper popped out of her seat, ''Did you get a new haircut?'' she asked, looking anywhere but his eyes.

''I know the truth Piper,'' he stated as he stalked towards the wide-eyes woman. ''And there's only one solution,'' he said as he walked by, stopping and turning. ''You have to shake that money maker. For the good of Quake!'' he stated as he gave her behind a slap, causing her to squeak and blush furiously. Prue rolled her eyes and drunk her coffee as Phoebe burst out laughing.

''Ooh!'' Piper brought her hands up in a choking gesture, but remained in control of herself.

''I suppose you could have picked a worse fling buddy. I approve.'' Naruto stated as he walked back towards the kitchen. The three sisters shared a look, before chasing after the blond to figure out what he meant by fling buddy.


	3. Zack Moves In!

Meg's Boyfriend  
0  
Meg x Zack  
0  
Story Start  
0_  
_

Everyone was seated at the dinner table, including Chris who was patched up by the doctors, being served dinner. Lois started making conversation.

"So, Meg how was school today?" Lois asked, trying to show interest in her daughter's life.

With a resigned sigh Meg went over the events of the day. "I was teased again by Connie and the other poular kids," Meg explained. "They stole my books, they stuffed me in a locker, and I almost got raped by jocks just for fun until Neil came by and got beat up long enough for me to get awa-."

"Oh, Blah blah blah! All you ever do is whine," said Peter rudely cut her off, "Anyway, today Quagmire called me fat and stupid. It made me cry." he whined.

"Aww, Peter," said Lois, "You're not fat, you're just a little..."

"Wait a minute! Hold the phone!" Zack interrupted, "Your daughter said she was almost raped by jocks and nobody gives a crap? This fat stupid idiot says Quagmire calls him a fat stupid idiot and suddenly he's a victim. HE'S A FAT STUPID IDIOT!" Zack exploded in outrage.

"But...but... it hurt so bad," whined Peter whined.

''You're supposed to be a grown man for heaven's sake! Act like it!'' _How can anyone be that self-absorbed. I swear, and I thought my family was screwed up. _

"Okay,'' Lois cut in, trying to steer the conversation in a different direction. ''Why don't you tell us about yourself, Zack," asked Lois, "What do you do for a living?"

"I work at 7-11 as a clerk," Zack simply stated.

"And?" Lois pressed on.

''That's it. You see when your kid cost me my job my life took a downturn. It took me weeks to find a new job, meaning I have no rent and I was kicked out of my apartment. My girlfriend left me, and being the psycho she is, destroying several of my items in the process. Items which took a lot of money to replace, which resulted in me not being able to pay for the classes I attended to take that season. Of course, the community college I went to, had an insane and insensible standard and blacklist me for reasons they didn't want to disclose and as a result I currently have no goals.''

"You're homeless?" asked Meg, "Do you sleep in the streets?"

"No, I have to live in that damn 7-11 store," Zack bitterly remarked, "Even then, I'm still_ late_ for work." he added, mentally cursing his boss.

"Can't you rent an apartment or something?'' Brian asked him.

''I have no support from most of my friends or a girlfriend to stay with. Not to mention I earn minimum wage so yeah, that's not really an option.'' _I would stay with Terrel, but his brother's scare me._

"Wow," said Brian, "Chris sure did fuck up your life didn't he? Wait how did you get the car?"

"A Gift from my mom," Zack answered, a hint of a smile twitched at his lips. His mom was one of the few people in his life who wasn't a complete Jerkass.

"Mom, can I talk to you in the living room?" Meg asked her as she and Lois left the kitchen.

"What is it, Meg?'' she asked.

"Zack has no place to stay," Meg stated, "Can we let him stay here until he gets back on his feet?" she pleaded.

"I don't know, sweetie," Lois replied with a look of indecision, "We don't really know him."

"But Chris ruined his life," Meg argued, "It's only fair if we help fix it. He can pay rent and sleep in the attic." she hopefully suggested.

"Alright, Meg," said Lois, "But you're being responsible for him." she informed her daughter.

She and Meg walked back into the kitchen where the boys were in deep discussion.

"What would you rather do?" Peter asked, "Eat a stinkbug, or tongue kiss Paris Hilton.''

"Stinkbug," said Zack, Brian, and Chris stated one after another.

"Definitely the stinkbug," Stewie added

"Peter," said Lois, "Meg and I decided that since Zack's homeless, he can stay with us."

Zack promptly began choking on the Sprite he was drinking with.

"What?" Peter asked in outrage, "No freaking way! Not after what he did to Chris."

"But, Chris is the one who ruined him!" Meg argued him.

"I have to agree with Meg, Peter," said Lois, "And he's not staying for free. He'll be paying rent." she added.

"Well, I'm king of this household, so I say nay!" Peter stated.

"Let's vote," Brian suggested, "All, in favor of Zack staying, Aye."

"Aye," said Meg, Lois, Stewie and Brian.

"All opposed?'' Brian asked.

"Nay!" shouted Chris and Peter.

"4 against 2," Brian stated, "Welcome to the Griffin household."

"Fine, but since he's under my roof, he'll be living by MY rules," Peter argued.

"Okay, what "rules" must he abide by?" Lois asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Rule # 1, he MUST participate in Meg Bashing."

"Fuck that," Zack shouted as he went upstairs to the attic.

"Hey, hey! Get back here!" shouted Peter, "Oh geez! This is is gonna suck worse than the time I beat Vegeta from Dragonball Z at checkers"

_Vegeta and Peter are playing checkers when Peter takes Vegeta's last game piece._

_"YAY! I win!" Peter stated and clapped._

_"WHAT? First Kakarot beats me and now THIS?" said Vegeta, "A fat human?"_

_"Geez, Veggie, lighten up," said Peter, "It's just a game."_

_"JUST A GAME?" shouted Vegeta as he kicked the game-board, "I AM THE PRINCE OF ALL SAIYANS! I'M SUPPOSED TO WIN AT EVERYTHING! I'M ROYALTY, DAMMIT!"_

_"Well, you happen to suck at checkers. It's no big deal."_

_"I DON'T SUCK! YOU SUCK! GALICK GUN!" shouted Vegeta as he quickly obliterated Peter._

"Wait. What did that have to do with anything?" Lois asked, having grown used to her husband's overactive imagination.

"I dunno," he answered with a shrug.

"You know, we should really stop doing that," said Stewie, "You know, mentioning some random event that has nothing to do with nothing."

Everyone in the room stand there silent for a moment and then bust out laughing.

"Oh, god I needed that," Brian said, as he wiped a tear from his eye, "Like that'll happen."

Zack looked around the basement and sighed. At least it was relatively well kept. He went over and looked out the window, it was a nice view of the neighborhood. Thankfully their was enough room to put a medium sized bedroom. Now that he actually considered it, the Griffin house was actually quite large compared to the other houses on the block. Must have been a result of that whole Peteroia incident he heard about a year ago. '_Oh God. I'm living with a man who tried to start his own country and invaded America with little to no money, soldiers, or a structured government. I'm trading dealing with one bastard to the next. On the other hand I now have working plumbing and I'll have decent food. I really need to start going back to school or finding a better job. Maybe I can use what I know about electronics and wiring to run some wiring up in here so I can put a TV or something. Maybe T's Uncle can give me some advice on carpentry or something?'  
_

He wondered as suddenly he got a knocked on the attic door/ladder thing. ''Come in!'' he stated as it opened down. Meg came in, bringing a blanket and pillow.

''I'd thought you need this.'' she stated.

''Thank you!'' he replied, gratefully taking the items from you. ''You have no idea how much I appreciate this Meg.''

''No, thank you. Its nice having someone who treats me with compassion.'' she replied.

''You're a nice girl. You don't deserve this. No one deserves this.'' he stated and smiled at her. ''I hope you don't find this rude, but I have to go. I need to pick up some things from my friend T's house and the rest from storage. If you don't want to be stuck here with your family you can come along.'' he suggested.

''Yeah, sure, sounds fun. I love to meet your friend.'' she replied as a smile formed on her face.

Zack set the things down to the side and cracked the window slightly so the stuffy place could air out. He and Meg exited the attic and prepared to get ready to head out.

000

Chapter End

000

That's the end of a third chapter with the touchings of additional scenes. We have some background being established, some dimension added to the character, and me adding what I felt were some missing scenes.

0000

Heroes United Preview

0000

Naruto found himself stopped as Korra reached out and grabbed his hand. ''Korra...'' he softly stated as the cold wind of the night air caused a cheer to course through him.

''Don't you take its time for you to follow your advice and trust in someone. Trust in me?'' she asked, her eyes focused on his back. ''I want to help, but I don't know how. You have to tell me. I don't, I don't know how to fight something that's no in front of me. You know I'm not all that great at the spiritual stuff, but that doesn't mean I'm not willing to try.''

Naruto turned back around to face Korra. He could see it on her face. He could really see how trying to live up to Aang was having an impact on her. How she felt inadequate when it came to helping people. And how he could have been doing his job better and how much he dreaded filling the roll he was literally born to fill because he was afraid of losing himself. ''I really have been an idiot this whole time. The answer's been in front of me the whole time.'' he stated. ''Korra, I'm sorry.'' he stated as he took a stepped forward and pulled her into a hug.

Despite her cheeks burning Korra didn't say anything and returned the hug. When the hug ended they pulled apart slightly and their eyes met. They both slowly began to move forward into what would lead into their first mutual kiss.


	4. Homecoming Dance Preparations!

Meg's Boyfriend  
0  
Meg x Zack  
0  
Author's Note  
0

I was given permission by Malcolm Fox to adopt this story.  
0  
Story Start  
0

Meg and Zack came to a stop in front of a house in a nice neighborhood. It was a nice house, a 4 bedroom, 2 bath Colonial style house. The type that came with a, Large Eat-In Kitchen With Master Bedroom On First Floor, Screened In Deck, and Heated Garage.

Zack rang the doorbell and the theme from Different Strokes played. The door opened to reveal an African American Teen, a dark plaid shirt, blue jeans, and Jordans. ''Zack, good to see you man and...'' the teen took a whiff. ''And you don't smell like days old Doritos, ass, and dried deodorant.''

''Nice to see you too Terrel,'' Zack greeted with a sigh.

''Who's your friend?'' he asked.

''This is Meg, Meg meet Terrel.'' Zack introduced them.

''Hello,'' Meg awkwardly greeted the teen.

''You look familiar.'' Terrel stated with narrowed eyes. ''Are you Stan Thompson's daughter?''

''Who?'' Meg replied, a bit caught off guard.

''No, she's a Griffin.''

''Griffin you say?'' Terrel remarked with interest. ''Excuse me.'' he replied as he stepped back and closed the door.

''Terrel, come on man.'' Zack replied as he kicked the door. ''Don't do this.''

''Zack, you're like a brother to me, but I'm not dealing with one of those damn Griffins. Every time man, every time one of them shows up something weird and incredibly messed up happens.''

''She's not like the rest. She's a good person.'' Zack argued through the door.

Meg couldn't help but feel a bit touched. She couldn't recall the last time someone argued on her behalf.

''...if something happens I swear there will be Hell to pay.'' Terrel murmured as he opened the door. ''Come on,'' Terrel reluctantly remarked as he opened the door and led them in. He led them through the door where Zack began conversing with the teen, asking for help on carpentry and stuff.

''What the Hell T?'' Zack asked in outrage as all of Zack's stuff was crammed together in a pile.

''Oh I'm sorry, this is public storage isn't it? In that case, where's my eighty dollars a month?'' the teen remarked.

Zack could do nothing but grumble, not wanting to get into an argument with his friend. ''So how do you two know each other?'' Meg asked, as she and Zack were carrying objects out to the car, Terrel was on his way back in.

''We met in third grade. We both liked Oreos. Not much to really say.'' he answered with a shrug.

''Oh, okay,'' Meg simply replied. The two of them didn't really talk much after that. Once all of Zack's stuff was loaded into the car it was just a matter of setting up the room in his attic. The following day Zack was upstairs in the basement playing his Nintendo 64. Specifically, he was playing WWF No Mercy. He had created himself into the game and was beating the hell out of Triple H.

_"Just gotta pull off my finisher and I'll become champion,"_ stated Greg.

Just at that very moment, he heard Meg screaming from downstairs.

_"What the hell?"_ Zack thought, pausing for a moment, but that moment distracted him long enough for the polygonal Triple H to take a steel chair and Smack his CAW's head clean off his shoulders. Literally.

_"Oh come on. I thought that myth about special edition of the game was crap.''_

The announcer in the game then shouted out, "YOU SUCK!," to Zack as the very same words began flashing onscreen.

_"Didn't know the game could do that either,"_ Zack thought as his lip twitched in annoyance. He then decided to go and see what Meg was screaming about. Meanwhile downstairs, Meg was at the kitchen table looking rather distraught.

"It'll be okay, sweetie," Lois assured her in a motherly tone.

"No it won't be okay," Meg replied with a distraught cry. She was on the verge of crying.

"What's up with all the hubub?" Zack asked as he entered the kitchen.

"Homecoming is tonight and I don't have a date," said Meg, "Again!" she emphasized her distraught.

"Of course you don't have a date," said Peter, "Nobody likes you." he cruelly.

"Why am I not surprised he was gonna say that?" Zack sarcastically remarked as he took an apple from the fruit bowl and flung it at Peter, nailing him square in the head and causing him to fall over, "How about I help you get a date?"

"Really," asked Meg, "How?"

"I'll think of something," Zack answered with shrug.

"Oh this is only asking for trouble," said Stewie, "This'll be worse than the time I accidentally found hentai with Lois and the Fatman."

_Stewie is on the computer checking his e-mail._

_"Now let's see. Oooohhh," said Stewie in amusement, "An E-mail claiming that I won $2,000. All I have to do is double click and... OH GOD! AHHHHHHHH!"_

_Stewie then runs out the door past Quagmire._

_"Stewie, where the hell are you going?" said Quagmire as he then looks at the computer screen, "Well alright!"_

Later at 7-11, a teenage boy comes up to the register purchasing funions and a soda.

"Hey, dude, I'll give this winning scratch and win ticket if you do me this one favor," Zack offered him. Surely getting a date for Meg wouldn't be that hard.

"Sure! Anything's worth it!" the Teen replied.

"Take this girl to Homecoming,'' Zack told him, pulling out a picture of Meg that he borrowed from Lois.

The teen then proceeded to light himself on fire with gasoline and ran out the store screaming."Wuss..." muttered Zack. _'Not to mention complete psycho. What the hell kind of shit was that? Meg might not be one of those over prissy and horrible skeleton-like models, but that was unnecessary.'_

Later, Zack comes up to a skater at the park.

"Hey, I'll buy you a new board if you go out with this girl," Zack offered, showing him the picture of Meg. The skater then proceeded to skate into the pond screaming while drowning himself.

Once more Zack found himself having to call 911. He was beginning to wonder if he had anti-bodies to whatever was in Quahog's water supply. There was no excuse for such a reaction.

Later, Zack is at a the mall talking to yet another teen. "...And I will give you all my worldly possessions if you go out with this girl," by this time Zack was starting to get desperate. Once more he showed a picture of Meg. The teen then proceeded by jumping off the ledge of the 2nd story.

"OH COME ONE! SHE DOESN'T LOOK _THAT_ BAD!" Zack shouted in frustration as he tore at his in hair. It was impossible.

Later he went back to the Griffin's residence.

"Any luck?'' Lois asked with a bit of hopefulness.

"No," Zack replied with a resigned sigh, he went up to his room, "That's why I'm gonna use a different method of 'persuasion.'"

Zack then came out of his room with a shotgun and cocked it before leaving the house. Later at an alleyway, Zack aimed his gun at a teen's head. With how corrupt and stupid most of the police force in this town was he was sure he would get off with community service.

"Go out with her of I'll blow your head off!" Zack screamed at him. Hopefully the kid would be too stupid to notice that Zack didn't have his finger on the trigger.

The teen looks at the picture, then the gun, the the picture, and then the gun again.

"It's not worth it. Just shoot me," the teen replied.

"Oh I give up!" said Zack as he proceeded to knock the boy out with a blow from the butt of the gun. Despite how annoyed he was, Zack wouldn't have shot the gun, even if it was loaded. Among the things he was thought, you not only never put a finger on the trigger unless you're going to shoot, you never load a gun unless you planned on shooting later. Contrary to popular belief a loaded gun did not have to have the trigger pulled by the person holding it for it to go off. Back at the Griffin residence, Zack and Brian are having a conversation.

"It's hopeless!" Zack remarked with an exacerbated cry, "Every guy I asked either committed suicide or injured themselves. I ask why? Meg isn't that ugly, is she? I blew it."

"Don't blame yourself, Zack," said Brian, "You should be blaming the media, whose definition of attractive are blonde, boney girls with low intellect. This basically affects how Americans view 'attractive'."

"Or maybe it's cuz she's ugly," Chris remarked as he entered the room.

"Nobody asked you, lardbutt!" Zack angrily snarled, causing the boy to flinch. He was in no mood for stupidity.

"So what happened?" Meg asked, entering the room.

"I asked every teenaged boy in town and they all did something stupid," said Zack.

"Hey Brian," said Peter, "Why don't you chaperone for her again?"

"Oh no!" said Brian, "Not after what happened last time. No offense Meg, but you were a little, well, loopy."

"Well, that's it then," Peter said, "Meg is still alone and she still sucks since nobody will take her to homecoming."

"I'll take her," Zack snapped.

"You will?" Meg replied, hopeful.

"He will?" Lois, caught off-guard.

"Zack, you should reconsider," Brian remarked with a hint of concern and unease at his voice. Meg wasn't the most stable person and with good reason.

"No," Zack cut him off with a pause. "I WANT to take her. If I don't do it, no one will and Meg might do something stupid like get a sex change and call herself 'Ron'." he remarked with a sigh.

"Oh, thank you Zack!" Meg squealed as she hugged him, "I'm gonna go call my friends."

Meg then ran to her room leaving the others alone.

"What the hell are you thinking, man," said Peter, "That's Meg!"

"Wow, you ARE daring," said Stewie, "He's willing to go where no man has gone before: Meg's vagin-"

"Shut up!" Zack once more snapped , "We're merely going as friends and nothing more." he clarified.

"Just be careful not to show Meg the wrong kind of feelings," said Lois, "She has a bit of habit of, snapping.''

"Don't worry," Zack responded, "I'm gonna get changed." he added

Zack then walked upstairs to the attic to get changed into a suit.

"There goes a brave man," said Peter, "I call dibs on his N64!"

"I want his bed!" Chris stated.

"YOU FUCKERS AREN'T GETTING JACK CAUSE I AIN'T GONNA DIE!" Zack shouted. This was going to be a long night.


	5. The Dance!

Meg's Boyfriend  
0  
Meg x Zack  
0  
Author's Note  
0

I was given permission by Malcolm Fox to adopt this story.  
0  
Story Start  
0

Later that Night Zack was dressed and ready to take Meg out. "How do I look?" her voice carried down from the doorway. Zack turned to Meg and saw she was wearing a red spaghetti-strapped dress that went down to her ankles and she wasn't wearing her beanie.

Zack was stunned to say the least. He realized just how unflattering Meg's usual attire made her look. She was rather frumpy, but the outfit showed off she had some hips and was rather average.

"Meg you look stunning," said Lois, "Doesn't she look stunning, Peter?"

"Uhhh..." Peter dralwed.

"She does," she whispered with a his.

"Oh, yeah! She does!" said Peter, "I umm, especially like, umm, what she did with, umm... uhhh... She does!"

"Okay, does this suit look good?" asked Zack who was wearing a Black suit with a bright blue shirt and a red necktie. He still was wearing his green beanie, and refused to style his long hair.

"Zack, I think you should wear a pony tail," Lois suggested, "but other than that, you look handsome."

"Thanks," he replied before turning to Meg, "Meg, you look nice." he complimented.

"You look nice, too Zack," she replied, "Thank you again for wanting to go with me."

"No problem," he replied.

"Before you two go, I wanna take a picture of you two," Lois informed them.

"Go ahead," Zack said, as Lois took a snapshot of the two.

"Hah!" Peter said as he grabbed the polaroid, "Now that I've got your picture, I can blackmail you!"

"How?" Zack asked, confused.

"I'll post it on the internet, and everyone will laugh at you for being with Meg," said Peter.

"Do what you want, Peter. I don't care," Zack dismissively replied.

"Are you sure?" Peter pressed on.

"Yep."

Peter then took a few steps upstairs, and turned back.

"I'm gonna post it right now."

"Go ahead."

Peter then took a few more steps, and turned back.

"I mean it. I'm gonna post it."

"Fine."

Peter then walked up some more, and turned back."I'm gonna really do it."

"Still not caring."

Peter then quickly walked back downstairs and gave the photo back."OH, FINE! TAKE IT!" Peter shouted in frustration, "You're no fun."

"...Okay... Well, you two try to have a good time," said Lois as she waved goodbye to Zack and Meg who were leaving in Zack's car.

At the school Gymnasium, Zack and Meg arrived to dance to see lights, decorations, and other teens either dancing or having a conversation.

"Isn't this nice?" Meg asked, "Just listen to the music. Don't you just wanna dance?" she asked.

"Uhhh, no. At least not yet. Listen, I'm gonna go get us some punch," said Zack as he walked over to the punch bowl. As soon as Zack left, Connie and the other popular kids came by.

"Hello Meg. Where's your date?" Connie asked before snidely remarking, "Oh I forgot! You don't have one!"

The other kids then laughed at Meg as she became embarassed. "For your information, Connie, I DO have a date," Meg snapped.

"You do? Oh wait, I do see him," said Connie, "He's just invisible. Hello there, Meg's 'date'."

"Stop it, Connie," Meg snapped at her.

"What's going on over here?" Zack asked as he walked up, "And who's this broad?"

"THAT is your date?" Connie asked with a derisive snort, "You're going out with Shaggy, now?"

"So you're Connie, huh?" Zack asked, "You look just like how I pictured you."

"Like the woman you wish you had," she pompously remarked.

"No, like a stupid whore!" he dismissively responded.

"What?" Connie said in annoyance.

"Um let's go Zack," Meg worriedly suggested as she pulled him away to sit on the bleachers and talk to him.

"Perky little bitch, ain't she?" Zack remarked.

"Zack, that's Connie, the most popular girl in school," she informed him.

"Wonder how she got so popular?" Zack asked, "Did she spread her legs to the whole football team?"

"Actually... yes," Meg replied, "But you need to be careful about what you say. Those jocks could really mess you up."

"Right, right," Zack stated, "I'll watch it. Punch?"

"Thanks," Meg said as she took a sip of the red drink. Then Connie walked up to them.

"I demand an apology from 'Shaggy' over there," Connie demanded, "I don't appreciate being called a whore."

"I'm not saying Jack until you apologize to Meg for that invisible man crack," Zack replied, "I heard it on the way back."

"Zack, maybe you should just apologize," Meg suggested. She knew how cruel Connie her possie could be an they weren't above pulling cruel pranks or other such acitives.

"Fine, I'm sorry," Zack unsincerely remarked with a roll of his eyes.

"Thank you," Connie replied before she hit Meg's cup of punch which made it spill onto her dress, "Oooops."

"My dress is ruined!" shouted Meg, "You did that on purpose!"

"Meg! Here let me clean that off for you," said Zack as he tipped his own cup of punch which spilled on Connie's dress, "whoooooooops!" he replied with a smirk.

"MY DRESS!" screamed Connie, "You son of a bitch!"

"Oh, don't wory, I'll get that stain off,'' Zack added as he runned with a rag but the stain got larger and somehow turned black, "Oops, I'm using my car rag!"

"Argh! You ruined my dress," Connie said before Zack threw the rest of his punch on Connie.

"And now I ruined your hair," he added as Connie walked off angrily. Zack was then grabbed by one of the jocks.

"Hey, we didn't like what you did to Connie," one of the jocks stated.

And of course Zack added without thinking."Oh yeah?" Zack challenged, "And what are you gonna do about it?"

The other football players began their fists into their palms growling. All Meg could do was turn away and cover her eyes. A few miniutes later Zack was left with a blackeye, bloodied nose, and his suit torn up.

"Are you alright?" Meg asked Zack, helping him up.

"I'm fine," Zack said, "But those Jocks are the ones who are gonna need help."

The Jocks, however, were all bloodied, beaten and some were missing some of their hair. They where all over the place; One was stuck in the basketball hoop, one in the punchbowl, and one whit his head in between the door to the bathroom. Meg then hears a slow romantic song playing.

"Thank you for standing up for me against Connie. That was very sweet." she informed him as a smile graced her face.

"No problem," Zack replied, as he rubbed the back of his neck, "Uh, listen, Meg. I like you."

"I know that," she cut him off, "We are friends after all."

"No, I mean I REALLY like you," Zack replied with a pause. ''Look, I find you sweet, cute, and not to mention you're one of the only sane people in this town. What I mean is I want to try to get to know you because you're unlike most of the women in this town. They're either self absorbed sluts like Connie, or ditzes like my half-sister, Jillian..."

"Jillian's your half-sister?" Meg asked, surprised, "She's Brian's girlfriend!"

"Wow. I always knew my sister had poor taste in men, but damn! A dog?" Zack remarked with a face palm, "Anyway, where was I? Oh yes. It just makes me so mad that everyone, even your own family, makes fun of you and call you ugly, so I always defend you. When I look at you, I don't see fat, or ugly. I see someone whose a decent person. I like you and I hope we can start seeing each other and see where things go from there.''

Meg then blinked for a moment. She didn't know what to say. "Oh Zack!" said Meg as she leapt into his arms and kissed him on the cheeks, "I'd love that more than anything.''

"The DJ's still here," Zack pointed out, "Would you like to have this last dance?"

"I'd love to" said Meg as she wrapped her arms around his neck. Zack placed his hands on her hips and they danced the night away. They were hoping that the song and this night would never end.

000

Anything's Possible Preview

000000

''Think you can handle me champ?'' Shego taunted, getting into an offensive stance. It was hard not to see how fit and trim she looked in her black athletic shorts and violet crop top T-shirt that showed off her stunning abs.

''Oh I can more then handle you my firefly,'' he playfully remarked. He himself was wearing a sleeveless Gray T-shirt and his new pair of black work-out shorts.

She licked her lips in eager anticipation, one of the few things that thrilled Shego was a good fight. Shego darted forward, leaped up in the air and launched a spinning kick to which Naruto swayed to the side and caught her ankle. He sent her flying to which Shego twisted, landed on her hands and flipped right back up. Shego charged again, aiming a sweeping low kick at her opponent who back flipped onto his hands and jumped right side up in a crouching position.

He attempted to tackle her midsection only for her to intercept him and supplex him into the mat. Using his shoulder to take the brunt of the damage Naruto's hand shot forward and grabbed Shego's ankle to yank her off balance.

Shego's eyes widened and she instantly launched a right kick back at the same time as she twisted her body around to face him, only to see him roll out of the way, leaving her to fall on her ass. The both of them added distance between each other and stood up.


	6. Keeping a Secret!

Meg's Boyfriend  
0  
Meg x Zack  
0  
Author's Note  
0

I was given permission by Malcolm Fox to adopt this story.  
0  
Story Start  
0

The following morning Zack was downstairs, in the kitchen, eating cereal. His head was still throbbing from the fight with the jocks. Meg then walked into the kitchen and began conversing with Zack.

"Morning Zack," she cheerfully greeted and placed a tentative kiss on his lips when he looked up to greet her.

"What was that for?" Zack asked, mystified.

"Don't you remember last night at the dance?" she asked, "You told me that you liked me and you considered dating me.''

''Right, sorry, the concussion is...'' he trailed off and groaned.

"Good morning you two," she greeted them, "So how was the dance last night?"

"It was great," said Meg, "You won't believe it, but last night Zack-"

Zack quickly covered Meg's mouth so she couldn't say another word.

"What was that, Meg?" Lois asked.

"She was saying that I said how much I loved her dress," he stated with a nervous chuckle, "Nothing more!"

"Oh, okay then," Lois responded, "I'm gonna go wake up Peter."

Lois then left the room and Zack quickly removed his hand from Meg's mouth.

"What the hell did you do that for?" Meg angrily asked.

"Meg, we can NOT tell her about last night!" said Zack.

"Why not?" she asked, "Is it because you're suddenly embarassed about the thought of us being together?"

"No, because I would suddenly disappear and you would suddenly have humburgers for dinner, but then realise that you didn't have hamburger meat in the fridge and that your mother never went to the store that day!" said Zack, "Remember what she did when I brought you back home 2 weeks ago? I don't think she's going to handle the sudden nature of our relationship too well."

"Oh, right," she said, "But what are we gonna do?"

"In order for this to work, we need to keep this relationship in the shadows," Zack sagely and dramtically stated, "Nobody is to know."

"I don't see what the big deal is," said Meg, "We're just two teenagers who want to be together."

"That's just it!" said Zack stated with a resigned sigh, before taking a deep breath and looking Meg in the eyes, "I'm NOT a teenager! I'm 20!"

"What?!" Meg loudly exclaimed, but thankfully since her family usually ignored her, they didn't bother to investigate it, "When were you going to tell me?"

"Uh, right now?" Zack sarcastically remarked, "The point is that if people knew about us being together, They'll call it statutory rape and I could go to jail."

"But we're only 3 years apart," Meg pointed out.

"Oh yeah, Quahog is sooo understanding," said Zack sarcastically, "That's why there are sooo many black people here other than Cleveland and Jamal's family. That's why nobody makes racist jokes. That's why-"

"Okay, I get it," Meg cut him off, "We'll keep it a secret." she begrudgingly agreed.

"At least until you turn 18," said Zack, "Here comes the others."

Peter, Lois, Chris, Stewie and Brian sat at the breakfast table along with Meg and Zack. Lois then served Meg, Peter, and Chris Eggs and Bacon, while Brian got his dog food and Stewie had baby food.

"So Zack, how did things go last night?" Peter asked.

"I beat up several jocks.'' Zack said peppily.

"So nothing happened?" Stewie asked, prying, "Nothing sexual? Nothing like taking your hotdog and putting it into one of Meg's donuts? You know, sexual intercourse or that sort of thing? Tell me! Tell me, did you need to use a paper bag? I'll bet he used a paper bag!"

"No, we did not engage in whoopie or even mouth whoopie," said Zack, "Aren't you suppose to be one? How do you even know stuff about this?''

"Oh, yeah, well you seem quite stupid for a- Say, how old are you?" Stewie asked.

"Uh, gotta get to work!" Zack nervously and suddenly remarked, his voice increasing in pitch, "That Slurpee machine ain't gonna fix itself." Zack then bolted from the house. Meg hurriedly followed him outside leaving the others in the kitchen.

"Did you see that?" Lois suspiciously asked, "He dodged the age question."

"He did?" Peter asked, suddenly becoming interested in something other than the food on his plate, "This could mean only one thing... He's an immortal. We must capture him and force him to tell us the secrets of him immortality!"

"No, I don't think he's immortal," Lois said, "But it would explain why he can look at Meg without killing himself. I wonder how old is he? "

"From what I remember, he was 18 when he was working at Burger King,'' Chris interjected.

"Oh my god, that means he's 20!" said Lois, "Peter, we let a 20 year old man take our 17 year old daughter to Homecoming!"

"I don't see what the big deal is,'' Peter remarked, for once being the voice of reason, "As long as they didn't do anything wrong."

"That's just it, Peter," Lois remarked, "I'll bet something did happen at the prom! I'm going to find out what."

Just then, Zack and Meg walk into the kitchen.

"I'm gonna take Meg to the mall so she can get a new dress," Zack informed them, "Her old one got ruined by Connie last night."

"Oh really?" Lois asked, "I want to know what happened last night."

"Okay," responded Zack, "Meg and I went to Homecoming, and we ran into Connie. Connie insulted her and I insulted her back. She got angry and wanted me to apologize so I did, but she spilled punch on Meg's dress which in turn led he into spilling punch on her dress AND her hair. This made the jocks mad so they tried to beat me up, but since I'm a convenient store clerk and get mugged like everyday, I took fighting classes at the YMCA and took out the Jocks. Then I- er, I mean that's it."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa!" Peter said, "You went to the YMCA? That disproves your theory then Lois. Zack's gay."

"Peter that's insulting," Lois chastised him, "Not everyone at the Y is gay."

"Anyway, we're leaving, now," Zack informed them as he and Meg left the room.

"He didn't finish his story," Lois stated, "I'm following them."

"Oh! Oh! Can I come too?" Peter asked like an unrestrained, energetic kid filled with excitement.

"Peter, someone needs to stay home and watch Stewie," said Lois.

"I'll do it," Chris stated.

"Someone who's not an idiot," Lois offhandedly remarked before realizing that she wanted Peter to stay home, "Wait..."

"Fine! I'll do it," Brian interjected with a dismay sigh , "Just I always do. Just why am I always stuck with Stewie anyway? He's YOUR kid." he pointed out, becoming frustrated and annoyed at this growing development.

"We honestly don't know," Lois remarked, "Anyway, Peter, we've got to see what Zack and Meg are hiding from us."


	7. At the Mall!

Meg's Boyfriend  
0  
Meg x Zack  
0  
Author's Note  
0

I was given permission by Malcolm Fox to adopt this story.  
0  
Story Start  
0

At the Quahog mall, Meg and Zack were at an a clothing store looking for a new dress. Zack had offered to pay for it. Little did they know, Lois and Peter where spying on them withing one of the clothes holders.

"How about... this one?" Meg asked holding out a rather revealing red dress.

"Nah, too skanky," Zack remarked after looking up from his magazine. He flipped the page as an annoyed look formed on Meg's face.

"What's so skanky about it?" she asked, bringing the dress up to him.

"Britany Spears once wore one like that," Zack simply answered.

"Eww," said Meg as she slowly put it away. Zack merely snickered at her reaction.

Meanwhile in the clothes holder...

"It's been an hour already! When are they gonna talk about last night?" Lois was clearly growing frustrated. She was beginning to think she should have put a stop to her husband's earlier escapades. Clearly some of them resulted in some brian damage.

"Lois this is boring," Peter whined, "Wait, I got it! We'll play I spy."

"Peter, this is no time for games," she chastizied him. Over the years she had been supressing her anger and regret. Lois massaged her head as she felt a migrane. For some strange reason they had been occuring lately.

"C'mon, It'll be fun," Peter pleaded with.

"Oh fine," she releneted. She knew if she didn't indulge him he would continue to pester her "You go first."

"Okay. I spy with my eye, something in the room that's... blue. Guess what it is," he prompted her.

"Peter, all I see are clothes," she pointed out as she closed her eyes and massaged them.

"Just guess."

"Fine is the blue turtleneck shirt?" she pointed with a jerk of her thumb.

"Nooooope!" he drew out with a pop.

"Those blue jeans?" she pointed to the corner.

"Noooooope!"

"The blue jersey?" she answered after a long sigh.

"Noooooope!"

"Dammit Peter! Every fucking piece of clothing in this clothes holder is either blue or has blue on it!" she angrily snapped.

"Yes... But which one?" asked Peter.

"AAAARGH!" she let out a roar of outrage.

Back at the store with Meg and Zack, to which the former was still shopping."What was that?"

"I dunno," Zack answered, "Kinda sounded like an angry sitcom wife dealing with a bumbling husband. Anyway can we go now? We've been searching for an hour." Zack thought it was going to be a quick, go in, pick out a dress, and be out sort of deal. Clearly he was wrong.

"Well we would have been gone by now if someone would stop criticising every dress I wore," Meg remarked with clear annoyance. She had enough people criticize her to last a life time, the last person she needed it from was her pseuo-boyfriend.

"Sorry" he apologized after realizing he may have been a bit harsh. "...but I just don't want my girlfriend dressing up like a hooker," Zack answered. 'I had enough of that for one life time.'

"Girlfriend?" Lois echoed stupified.

"Anyway, after this, maybe you can help me pick out some underwear," Meg slyly remarked as she ran circles across Zack's chest.

"Whoa! Let's not go there," Zack said as he cautioned away Meg's finger, "Remember, we said we would not tempt each other for sex until you turned 18."

"Okay, then we'll go to the movies instead Meg remarked as she and Zack walked to the counter.

Back inside the clothes holder."Peter, I think they became a couple last night!" said Lois, "Meg is dating a 20 year old."

"Did you guess what it was?" Peter asked, clearlt still stuck on the game.

"Are you still on that game?" Lois didn't know why she even asked. "Our daughter is involved in statutory rape. Come one!"

"Okay, it was the blue khakis," Peter said as he and Lois headed out, "And the term is Statutory surprise sex. And they did say they weren't actually having sex."

"Still, he's too old for Meg Lois remarked, "I want her with someone close to her age."

"Like, who? What teenager in Quahog would want to go out with Meg other than Niel Goldman? I say as long as she's happy we should leave it at that." he interjected with a surprise dose of wisdom.

"Wait, are you actually CARING about Meg?" Lois asked, not knowing whether to be more surprised about this or the fact that Peter has said something smart.

"What? Can't a father care about the feelings of his own daughter every once in a while?" Peter challenged.

"You didn't care when you threw her out of the house," said Lois.

"I said every once in a while, not every damn day," he corrected with a tone of smugness..

"Your probably right, Peter. But I want to check on them at the movies. I don't want any funny stuff happening," said Lois.

Later at the movies, Meg and Zack were watching some romance movie that she really wanted to watch. This made Zack and Peter(who was with Lois spying on them) uncomfortable since it wasn't manly.

"Are there any explosions?" Zack asked.

"No," Meg simply stated

"Any cool fight scenes?" he pepped up.

"No."

"Any scene where the main character acts like a drunken retard?"

"No." she stated again, growing a little annoyed.

"Any gun fights or sword fights?"

"No." her hand dug into the hand rest.

"ANY violence at all?" Zack was getting desperate at this point?

"No."

"Then why the hell am I watching this crap?!" he exclaimed as he got up to leave.

"Because you care about me." she interjected, hopeful that Zack wouldn't leave.

"Oh, right," Zack groaned as he sat down and held Meg's hand.

"So what are they doing now?" Peter asked s he shoved popcorn into his mouth.

"I think they're holding hands," Lois answered as she continued to peer throught the binocilars.

"No I mean the couple in the movie," Peter corrected himself.  
Peter.

"Who cares?" said Lois.

"Then why the hell did you make me spend 8 bucks on a movie you weren't even going to watch?" he asked, stopping his consumption of food.

"So we can spy on Meg and Zack," answered Lois.

"Oh, right." he remarked as he went back to eating the popcorn.

About two hours later near the end of the movie the lead female is dying in a coma. The lead male came in, trying to tell her how he felt about her, but it is too late as she was gone. Zack and Meg were both crying.

"That was just so sad," Zack sobbed, so glad his friends weren't there or he would lose his man card.

"I remember being like that girl," said Meg, "Alone and unloved. I always thought that I would never find true love until the very last seconds of my life. Meeting you was the best thing to ever happen to me."

In the back rows, Lois had heard this.

"I can't break them up," Lois resigned after realizing she was over reacting to the situation, "Zack may be her only chance for true love or else she might become lonely forever. Let's go, Peter. Umm, Peter?"

"This is just so sad!" sobbed Peter.

"Come on! Peter," Lois said as she dragged Peter from out of the theatre.

Later at the Griffin house, Zack and Meg walked into the living where Lois and Peter were.

"Hi, you two," Lois greeted them, "So what took you so long?"

"We were just at the mall," Meg answered as she looked at Zack and smiled, "And nowhere else."

"You two don't have to lie to us," Lois corrected, "You were at the movies."

"Aah crap," Zack muttered under his breath. "Listen, Lois, we weren't trying to..."

"Look, it's okay, Zack," said Lois, "I understand that you two are in love. You two just want to start a harmless relationship, but your age differences will make it hard. That's why I want to help keep it a secret."

"Thank you, mom," Meg stated as she ran over and hugged Lois, "And what does dad think?"

"Well he said-"

"I said it was sick and wrong, but I promised your mother I wouldn't do jack squat about it," Peter lied.

"But Peter, didn't you say-?" Lois began speaking only to be cut off.

"Ixnay, Lois." said Peter, "Anyway, I wonder how Brian, Stewie, and Chris are?"

They then walked up to Stewie's room where they saw Stewie, Chris and Brian playing strip poker. Chris and Stewie are in their underwear, while Brian isn't since he's always naked.

"Holy Crap! Why the hell are you guys playing strip poker?!" Peter exclaimed.

"It's a long story," Chris remarked.


	8. The Half Sister

Meg's Boyfriend  
0  
Meg x Zack  
0  
Author's Note  
0

I was given permission by Malcolm Fox to adopt this story.  
0  
Story Start  
0

After a hard day of work Zack was relieved to be home. Today sucked worse then usual. Instead of just being yelled by his jerkass boss slash dad, he got yelled at by customers as well. After being beaten up by a body builder who was experiencing what he assumed was roid rage, the store was robbed. Meaning the money would come out of his pay.

"Your life sucks!" aah yes. Steve's statement to everyone and everything. Zack wondered where the little drug attic was at. Last he heard he was going down to Mexico.

Regardless all he wanted to do was get his mind off today. He dragged himself the living room couch. He dropped down and let out a content sigh. He was just too damn tired to walk up the stairs, let alone get into the attic. After a few seconds he realized something was wrong. It was too quiet, peaceful.

No Lois, no Peter, no Chris, no Brian, no Stewie, not even Meg. It was lonely to say the least. With great effort he dialed a number. "Yeah this is Jamal. Can't get to you right..." Zack promptly hung up. Well there went that idea. Since there was no one to talk to maybe he should take a nap. However, before he could close his eyes, the phone rang.

"Wonder who that is?" he muttered to himself as he picked up the phone, "Hello?"

"Hello? Is Brian there?" a female voiced asked from the other side of the line.

"He's not here. Who is this?" Zack questioned the voice. It sounded quite familiar.

"This is Jillian," she answered.

"Oh no!" Zack gasped as his eyes widened in horror.

"Wait a minute? Zackie?" Jillian practically squealed, "Is that you?"

"Umm, no," Zack badly lied as he covered his nose to make a nasally voice, "This is Bill, ummmm, Humperdinkle!" thankfully Jillian was as dumb as Twilight fan.

"Well Bill ummmm Humperdinkle," Jillian greeted, "Could you tell Brian I'm on my way over."

"Um sure. Goodbye!" Zack said as he hung up the phone and laid back down on the couch. 2 seconds later the doorbell rang. Zack then got up, threw one of the cushions across the room, and walked to the door as he muttered cuss words under his breath. As he opened the door, to his surprise and dismay, there stood Jillian.

He began stammering, sounding rather intelligible as he finally let out a shout of distress.

"Zackie!" Jillian exclaimed as she gave her younger brother a hug, "What are you doing here?"

"I live here!" he disbelievingly exclaimed. "And why did you call when you were at the doorway?"

"I wanted better reception," she replied as Zack gave her a blank stare for half a minute, "Anyway, where's Bill ummmm Humperdinkle?"

"There is no Bill ummmm Humperdinkle," Zack answered as he massaged his head, "I made him up."

"Are you sure?" Jillian asked him, "He sure sounded real to me."

Zack placed his palm onto his face as he slowly dragged it down. He then held onto his nose and said, "I am Bill ummmm Humperdinkle."

"Oh my gosh! It is you!" Jillian said in amazement, "Now do someone else!"

"Jillian, go away!" Zack responded as he pointed out.

"But I came to see Brian," said Jillian, "And besides, you're not the boss of me. I'm older so nyah!" she childishly stuck her tongue out.

"Well I'm smarter!" he countered.

"Prove it," Jillian defiantly argued, crossing her arms.

"What's 2 plus 2?"

"..."

Zack resist the urge to face palm and asked, "What's 1 plus 1?"

Jillian continued to give him a blank look.

"What's the first letter of the alphabet?" Zack rolled his eyes at the lack of response, "What is your name?"

"..."

Zack's disbelief took over. "Jillian, you can't even remem-"

"Wait! Wait, I know this one," Jillian interrupted, "It's Patrick! Right?"

Zack just sighed heavily as he hung his head in frustration. Just that very moment, the rest of the family had gotten home from the grocery store. The first thing Zack noticed was that they did not bring him any onion dip... Then he noticed that Meg looked beat up.

"Meg! What the hell happened?" he asked as he ran over her and assessed her injuries.

"What do you think?" asked Meg, "Lard ass got me in trouble with the supermarket!"

The Griffins were about to leave the supermarket, when Peter gets an idea.

"Hey, Lois. Watch this," Peter said as he placed a can of soup in Meg's back pocket. Meg walked out but the alarm sounded.

"YOU!" shouted a security officer, "DROP WHATEVER IT IS YOU'RE HOLDING!"

"What? But I didn't do anything!" Meg shouted, but then they released the dogs and she ran screaming. Peter, Stewie, and Chris were laughing their heads off as the dogs began mauling Meg.

"Peter, you know Zack's gonna kill you for this," Brian pointed out.

"Nah, Zack's cool," said Peter, "He's cool about everything."

"YOU STINKING FAT PIECE OF SHIT!" Zack shouted as he grabbed Peter in a choke hold from behind and continuously knee'd him in his spine rather hard, "YOU WANT TO ENTERTAIN YOURSELF, GET A GAMEBOY BUT DO NOT HURT MY GIRLFRIEND!"

"You leave my dad alone!" Chris shouted.

"YOU WANT NEXT, TWINKIE?" angrily snarled as his bloodshot eyes gave him a rather homicidal look.

"You know, Dad really needed to be taught a lesson," Chris said as he sat down.

"Some son you are," Peter said as Zack finally let him go, "Hey, Brian. That hot chick girlfriend of yours is here." he said before he collapsed on the ground in pain.

"Jillian?" Brian asked, finally taking notice of the blond, "What are you doing here?"

"I needed your help," Jillian explained, "Remember that computer you bought me? Well, it doesn't work."

"Really?" Brian asked, "What did you do?"

"Well, I took it out of the box and I told it to work, but all it did was sit there," Jillian explained.

"No way!" Peter exclaimed, looking up, "My computer did that to me too!"

"Did you try putting it together and then plugging it in?" Zack didn't know why he was asking. He was beginning to wonder if he was a glutton for punishment.

"Is that what that other stuff was for?" Jillian asked.

"Forget it," Zack remarked in a defeated fashion.

"So anyway, Jillian you wanna stay a little bit?" Peter invited her to stay.

"I'd love to!" Jillian said, "I'd really like to catch up with my little brother, Zackie."

"Zack's your brother?" Lois's surprised could simply not be described. She couldn't believe it, the two of them were as different as two people could be.

"HALF brother!" Zack corrected. "We only have the same mom."

"But you can't be my half brother," Jillian pointed out, "You're a whole person."

Zack promptly began hitting his head against the wall.

"Since you're Zack's sister, can you tell us stories about when you were kids?" As much as Meg prodded him, Zack would not reveal stories from his childhood.

Zack then began to make comical gestures that said 'no'!

"I'd love to!" said Jillian, "When we were little kids, Zack would used to run around in his underwear, wearing a cape and pretending to be a superhero! It was the cutest thing ever! Here are some pictures."

Everyone gathered to take a look. Snickering and giggling could be heard.

"Awwww," Meg chuckled, "He looked so cute."

"Looked?!" Zack exclaimed, apparently forgetting his embarrassment for the time being. "Wadda ya mean looked?!"

"Whoa man, that's um, that's pretty embarrassing," said Stewie, "I mean look at you. You were running around in your freaking underwear when you were a lad."

"Well... as long as she doesn't show those other photos," Zack relented.

"Now here are the other photos," Jillian said as she dug into her purse, "Zackie's bath time pictures"

"God F#ck! I hate you so much right now," Zack stated as he fell backwards onto the ground and rocked from side to side.

"Zack, it's okay," said Lois, "We're laughing with you, not at you."

"HAHAHA!" Peter roared with laughter, pointing at Zack right before Zack grabbed the most blunt object near him and threw it at Peter shutting him up for a while.

"Zack, It's nothing to be embarrassed about," Meg assured him, "In fact, I wish someone would show baby pictures of me."

"Yeah, that would be possible. IF WE TOOK ANY BABY PICTURES OF YOU! HAHAHA!" Peter laughed, before Zack smashed a wooden chair on him, "OW! WHAT THE HELL?! WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?!"

"Repressed anger and other issues. Not to mention I just needed something to break" Zack explained and then turned to Jillian, "So any more ways to strip away my dignity, sis?"

"Nope," Jillian cheerfully said, "By the way, what's a dignity?"

"I thought so."

"Say, Jillian," said Brian, "If you want, how about I take you on a date tonight?"

"I'd love to!, Hey Zack, you and your boyfriend can come, too! It'll be a double date!"

"SHE'S A FRIKKIN' GIRL!" Zack angrily exclaimed. "AND NO!"

"Come on Zack," Meg pleaded, "It'll be fun!"

"But I don't wanna," Zack whined. "I just don't." The only reason he didn't make Jillian suffer for such indignities was the fact it would be the equivalent of picking on a puppy.

"Pleeeease? For Me?" Meg begged.

"Oh, alright," Zack relented as he placed a kiss on Meg's cheek, "For you, sweetie."

"Oh, ewww! He kissed Meg!" said Peter, "I haven't seen anything that gross since, uh... since... ummm... okay I got nothing."

"What?" Stewie said, "No non sequiter with a random flashback from the fatman?"

"Look I said I got nothing," Peter replied, annoyed that his lack of a follow up was being brought to the center.

"Well, this, um, this is a first," Lois remarked in genuine surprise.

Zack just prayed that nothing messed up would occur that night and it would be a nice, simple evening.


	9. Dinner Brawl and Suggestions!

Meg's Boyfriend  
0  
Meg x Zack  
0  
Author's Note  
0

I was given permission by Malcolm Fox to adopt this story.  
0  
Story Start  
0

Meg, Zack, Brian, and Jillian were seated in a nice restaurant at a table for three. Zack didn't really want to be there, but Meg did and as such he relented. After ordering, the two couples engaged in conversation.

"So, Zack," Jillian began, trying to stir up a conversation, "What have you been doing lately? I hope you stopped working at that dirty 7-11 with dad."

"I once lived there," Zack sourly answered before continuing with, "And I still work there."

"Oh," Jillian remarked, a sense of awkwardness spreading across the table.

Brian coughed and quickly changed the subject."Zack, I'm curious to know why you can't get another job?"

"Everyone else is afraid to hire me because they think I hate fat people," Zack answered with a sullen look.

"That can't be true. After all, you do love Meg," Brian good naturedly joked. Everyone laughed, including Meg and Zack, "Seriously, though, you two are a beautiful pair."

"So how did you two meet?" Jillian asked, on the edge of her seat. Though Jillian wasn't the brightest person, she was a romantic at heart.

"I met Zack when I got stranded in uncharted Quahog," said Meg, "It was during the Homecoming Dance that he said he wanted to try a relationship."

"So anyway," Zack cut in, "Jillian, how did you and Brian meet?"

"We both met at a Quizno's" said Jillian, "And we both ordered the same sandwich."

"Wow, that's, um... that's... very interesting," Zack lied, trying to force interest but failed.

"I know! Isn't it?" Jillian asked as her face lit up at the memory.

The waiter then came with their food. Jillian and Brian were sharing a lobster, Meg had salad, and Zack had steak.

"Finally!" Zack breathed out.

"I was thinking after dinner we can go over to my apartment and swing," Jillian suggested with a saucy grin. Zack and Brian then spat out their water... on Meg.

"Hey!" Meg shouted out, annoyed that they couldn't have simply just swallowed or turned their heads.

"SWING?!" They both screamed out in unison.

"You're my sister! What the hell!"

"And she's... Meg!" Brian finally answered upon realizing he didn't have a good as reason to object as Zack.

"C'mon, Brian," Jillian pressed on, "It'll be fun!"

"Wait a minute," Zack thought about it for a moment. This was Jillian. "...maybe she means being on swings," she suggested.

"Actually," Jillian moved from her to seat to whisper something into his ear. Zack's eyes became as big as dinner plates.

"OH GOD!" he cried out, horrified. "You guys are swingers?!"

"Not exactly," Brian whispered upon realizing people were staring, "I asked her to say this for the next date and we were gonna double date with Peter and Lois."

"Ahh," said Zack in realization. Lois was quite the milf. "As a Man I want to pat you on the back, though the brother in me wants to break you calves for obviously screwing over my sister."

"Sorry, Jillian," Meg finally replied, "But we can't do it. I'm still 17."

"Oh okay then," Jillian answered with a disappointed sigh, "If you're still under-aged."

When Brian and Jillian were about to touch their lobster, it hissed and then jumped and clamped onto Zack's nose.

"BY DOSE!" Zack yelled, "ID'S GOD BY DOSE!"

"OH MY GOD!" Meg shrieked.

"Don't panic!" Jillian said as she pushed a guy out of his chair and broke a leg off of it. "I got it!"

With that, Jillian repeatedly hit the lobster, and Zack's face rather hard.

"SDOP ID! YOUR ODLY MAGGING ID WORSE!" Zack shouted.

"What?!" Jillian asked as she continued to hit him.

"He says you're only making it worse!" Brian shouted.

Meg then took the 2x4 from Jillian and slapped the lobster off of Zack's nose which flew across the room and shattered through a window.

"Zack, are you alright?" asked Meg asked as she assessed his nose.

"My nose is bleeding, but other than that I'm okay."

"That was a close one and OH MY GOD IT'S BACK! " Brian shouted as he pointed to the lobster. It jumped back through the window and was coming towards Meg fast.

"I THINK I MADE IT ANGRY!" The lobster then leapt at her, but Zack blocked it with a dinner plate. The lobster then got a hold of his finger which made Zack run around the restaurant like a screaming maniac. He then ran into the back kitchen where he kept beating the lobster against the wall. He then managed to throw the lobster into a pot of boiling hot water.

"SEE YOU IN HELL YOU SONUVABITCH!" shouted Zack as he slammed the lid on the lobster before it could escape. The a strange dying noise could be heard from within the pot.

Zack then returned to the table, exhausted and injured.

"...Okay, I think we should call it a night," Brian suggested.

"Agreed."

"I trust that you had a pleasant evening?" asked the waiter, "And here is the bill."

Zack, Meg, Jillian, and Brian then studied the bill.

"Um, did anyone remember to bring money?" Meg asked, upon remembering that she left her purse at home. Everyone else shook their heads.

"Somebody has to pay the bill," the waiter impatiently stated.

"I've got an idea," whispered Zack to the others, "It seems that I forgot my wallet," Zack said out loud, "But that guy's my best friend and he'll be happy to pay for us."

Zack was then pointing to a random passerby who had no idea what was going on.

"Sir, I don't know those people," the man replied.

"YOU LIE!" shouted the waiter as he pulled out a machine gun and chased the poor man. Zack, Meg, Brian and Jillian then fled the scene.

Meanwhile in the kitchen, the pot lid slowly slid off and out came... A LOBSTER'S CLAW!

"Oh no you don't!" one of the chefs said as he slammed the lid back on and turned the temperature even higher.

"We really need to stop under cooking the lobsters," said one of the other chefs.


	10. Let's Do It!

Meg's Boyfriend

0

Meg x Zack

0

Author's Note

0

I was given permission by Malcolm Fox to adopt this story.

0

Story Start

0

Six months had passed since Zack and Meg started dating. Though they were tempted several times, the two remained abstinent. Meg's 18th birthday was still quite a ways from occurring and wills were being brought to its absolute limit. The promise appears to be on its way of being broken when Meg stated.

"Zack, I'm ready."

"Ready for what?" He asked as he continued watching the television. Things had settled down since the penguin incident a few weeks ago and Zack had become rather pliant the fast few days.

"I wanna have sex," she suggestively remarked as she placed a kiss on his neck.

Zack shivered, a warm sensation coursing through him. "What? But we said that-"

"We said that we'd wait until my 18th birthday, I know. But I don't want to wait! I want us to take our relationship to the next level, now!" she impatiently remarked. These last six months had been the best of her life and she never wanted to lose that feeling.

"Meg," he slowly began. He wanted to make sure he was clear to Meg on why her idea was a bad idea. He cut off the TV. "You're still legally a minor, and I'm legally an adult. It's just a bad idea."

"We'll just do it up here. No one would have to know." She pleaded.

"Forget it," he stubbornly remarked and was about to cut on the TV When Meg exclaimed something.

"I had sex with Jimmy and he's an adult. I think you're over estimating the people of Quahog." She remarked.

"What!?" Zack exclaimed in outrage. "I hate that guy!" he said as he threw the remote at the TV in outrage. "I bet I can do it like a million times better than he can!" If there was one thing that could override Zack's common sense than it was attacking his pride or insinuating that he wasn't as good as people that he hated.

"Does that mean...?" Meg asked with hopefulness in her eyes.

"Yes! Tonight, we make love!" he exclaimed dramatically. He then ran down stairs a few seconds later where he ran into Peter.

"Peter, can I talk to you for a second?" Zack hesitantly asked , "In private?"

"Um, Sure," Zack directed Peter to follow him into the basement. There, he turned on the stereo and turned it up to the point where nothing else could be heard. Zack began moving his lips but Peter heard nothing.

"WHAT?" Peter shouted. Zack spoke again but nothing came out. "WHAT?" Zack than shook his head and turned off the radio and shouted:

"I'M A VIRGIN!"

"Oh my god!" Peter remarked in disgusted, "Why did you have to tell me that?!"

"Sorry, I guess I should've explained first," said Zack, "Meg wants us to have sex and I told her I could do it better than that Jimmy Falon guy. Then I remembered that I'M A VIRGIN!"

"Having sex with Meg?" Peter asked as his face scrunched up in disgust. "Now why did you have to tell me THAT!?"

"The point is, I need your help!" Zack admitted, rather remorseful but who else could he turned to? Terrel nor Amber were answering their cellphones. "You and Lois have three kids and she must be satisfied with you to stay with you all this time! Teach me everything you know!"

"Have you looked at porn?" Peter asked.

"Yeah."

"Then you already know as much as I do!" Peter proudly stated as Zack sighed and dropped his shoulders.

"Oh, then I guess Lois is faking it then." He mumbled under his breath.

"What?" Peter asked.

"Huh?" Zack remarked, "Did I say something?" he said, putting one over Peter.

"I thought you did, sorry." said Peter, "Anyway, how about we hang out with the guys? They're bound to give you pointers!"

Later at the Drunken Clam, Peter, Quagmire, Cleveland, Joe, and Zack are chatting and having a few drinks.

"So anyway, Meg wants us to have sex tonight and I don't know what to do," he explained. At this point he considering asking Jamal. Between Quagmire, Joe, and Cleveland he wasn't sure their advice would help.

"Oh that's easy," said Quagmire, "Why don't you and Meg come over to my house and I'll teach you guys."

"Wow, Quagmire, that's a great idea…NO!" He snapped. There was no way in hell he was going to trust that jackass.

"Are you sure you wanna go through with this?" Joe questioned. "I mean, Meg is only 17. And you're 20." He pointed out.

"Will you arrest me if I do?"

"Nah, I don't really give a damn," said Joe, "I just want to make sure you know what you're doing."

"Yeah," said Cleveland, "If y'all don't know what you're doing, Meg could end up pregnant."

"I know about safe sex," said Zack, "I remember being taught by my dad." He trailed off as he thought back to seven years ago.

_"Whenever you have sex, use these," his dad said as he tossed Zack a pack of condoms._

_"Why?" _

_"So you don't end up stuck having a lousy kid like you."_

"I hate that bastard so much!" Zack snarled as the memory ended.

"Yeah, safe sex is the key," said Peter, "So you can't have a kid like-"

"If you don't want me to hurt you, don't finish that sentence," Zack snarled as his fingers dug into the table, splintering the wood.

"...Meg," said Peter before Zack broke his beer bottle over his head, "OWWW! OKAY I'LL STOP!

"Okay, Zack, I'm gonna give you some advice," said Quagmire, "Meg will love you whether or not you're lousy in bed, so just TRY to do your best. If you are bad, you'll get better later on."

"Wow, thanks Quagmire," said Zack as he was about to leave, "I... still think you're a weirdo."

"I know Zack... I know," said Quagmire as he game him a thumbs up. Zack then gave him a thumbs up back.

"Wow, that was pretty corny," Peter remarked.

Zack then makes it home and bursts into Meg's room. "Zack! So... are you ready," Meg eagerly asked.

"Listen, there's something I need to tell you," Zack began as he took a deep breath. He counted to ten before he exhaled and finally admitted his dark secret, "I'm... a virgin. I never had sex."

"So... I'm going to be your first?"

"Yes, so don't give me any flack if I'm bad at it, okay?"

"Suddenly, I'm having second thoughts about this," Meg remarked, becoming unsure.

"Why?" he asked, "I thought you wanted this."

"I do, It's just... you'll see me naked," she admitted, feeling rather self-conscious.

"So?" he remarked.

"No, my last boyfriend dumped me when he saw me naked." She admitted with a look of shame.

"Oh, c'mon! You can't look that bad!" he remarked.

A few seconds later, Zack is running from out of Meg's room holding on to his face screaming! He then runs into Peter.

"Whoa! Zack what are you screaming about?" Peter asked.

"I just saw Meg naked!" he shouted.

"Yeah, she looks horrible, huh?" Peter remarked with a snicker.

"Are you kidding? She's gorgeous!" said Zack.

"Then why are you running?"

"I just got a massive nosebleed is all. After I get some tissue, I'm going back."

Afterwards, Zack went back and he and Meg made love. After about half an hour they cuddled on his bed and began talking. "On a scale of 1-10, how was I?" Zack cockily asked, feeling like the man.

"About an 8," Meg simply stated.

"8?" he remarked aghast, feeling his confidence dropped down slightly. "Why 8?" well he supposed he couldn't complain that much. Eight was still pretty good, but, she said he was the man. THE MAN! He should have been at least a nine.

"I've only done it with one guy," she began explaining, "And I've only had a... different kind of sex with my last boyfriend." She finished, looking rather unsure.

"What kind?" Meg then whispered something into his ear as his face turned disgusted, "OH GOD! The EAR?!" Zack felt like he was going to throw up. For god sake's he licked and nibbled on her ear many of times for god's sake! He was going to need mouth wash.

"We were trying to be abstinent," she quickly explained, looking rather ashamed and foolish.

"Well there are some things that don't belong in the ear and that is one of those things!" he exclaimed even louder.

"Zack, let's just forget about it," she pleaded with him, "How about we try to raise your score up some more, instead?" she remarked as she began stroking little jack.

"With pleasure," said Zack, "And I do mean pleasure!"

Zack and Meg then crept under the covers. Stewie then walked into Meg's room.

"Meg, have you seen where I left Rup- OH GOOD LORD! AHHHHHHHH!" screamed Stewie as he ran from the room and into the bathroom, "SOAP! I NEED SOAP!" he said as he began scrubbing his eyes.

0

Chapter End

0

Next chapter we see some more original material. Meg settling in a routine that will slowly build her confidence and physical avenue and Zack considering new career opportunities. No lemon this chapter folks, that comes later and most likely on Ficwad or Yourfanfiction. Go there, sign up, and help do your part to spread the word about the sites.


End file.
